this song is an instrumental!

please just shut up, i’m tired of your whining i hate all of my friends chew my flesh and spit me out i no longer care frame me for the crimes you commit i won’t take your name in vain woah! i hate everyone who reads science fiction woah! i hate everyone who drinks black coffee (put some sugar in there or something dude, who the fuck likes their coffeee black) walk back home from the theatre is a long one shoelaces left undone (she misses class often) buy my soda from the corner store i like the owners there (hit me, i wouldn’t care!) bright blue skies but i’m bored won't you eat up my time (smoked salmon and freshly squeezed lime) waste no more in the arcade polybius is my dad (polybius is my d-) i don’t have the strength to keep going everything just hurts so badly i kissed God and i liked it i kissed God and i liked it i kissed God and i liked it i kissed God and i think they liked it too i kissed God and they liked it i kissed God and they liked it i kissed God and they liked it i kissed God and i think that i liked it too oh i kissed God and i welcome to homegrown mess welcome to my idol worship welcome to the house of God i’ll pray for you daily and cleanse you of your sins i love you

my friends don’t really like me, i don’t really like them we just hang around spend my days wasting time on an album that no one will hear i just bought an ipad to fill my head before i go to bed because i cannot live with my thoughts i am going insane i am going insane i am insane slow down, stop inventing all your problems venting all your “problems” to me make up, you forgot your foundation your monthly fixation is lame won’t you lock door behind you everything reminds you of you of her get help and get up off your high horse you should try and cry more i will drink the red out of your eyes i will pretend i am dumb, i am ready to die “kill me” i say as i lay on my back in the back of your car i bet you think that i’m dumb grey skin, long hair, black eyes boo! i scared you, didn’t i ? burning down churches til’ i cannot think biting your neck as i pray to my shrink (shrink) i cannot give you time to rethink embarrass myself til my face turns to pink i will jump and be on you before you blink slow down, stop inventing all your problems venting all your “problems” to me make up, you forgot your foundation your monthly fixation is lame won’t you lock door behind you everything reminds you of you of her get help and get up off your high horse you should try and cry more i’m bad at staying inside

i’m not getting any younger my head is filled with summer and days that i regret wedding bells for all my sisters i hope they all are happy and everything is okay for them but i’m just wasting all my youth stuck in my bed downloading personalities off the internet wake up, way past afternoon, miss another zoom call, 18 fucking years old the lizard people run my world they must cause : everything’s a mess there’s no way i did that, blame it on the flat earth yeah “i just notice patterns that others don't” think about walt disney everytime i sleep called in sick again my body aches after last night there’s aliens all around me there’s aliens all around me oh my God, again? last time you said it was the last there’s so much drama in this group there’s so much drama in this group i’m not getting any better my head is full, bad weather everyday i regret i’m so very fucking lonely my sisters on their own feet and everything is okay for them year 2000 i got kicked out of film club i gave up on guitar i walked through the halls then it happened those mass suicides in jonestown how do you explain that? how do you build the strength to end it all? mkultra made me sad mkultra made me want to die mkultra made me queer mkultra made me want to ball up and fall forever mkultra got me fired mkultra made me break my phone mkultra changed my name mkultra made me fall in love with the idea of you mkultra i give up i said i give up

neopets and razr flip phones jump on skype, can’t wait to get home hot pink everything around me long hair, scenecore, donnie darko oh won't you join my band we play “lofi” shit so we don’t take fire for not knowing how to produce anything at all, my music sucks :) i’m not right at all i’ve been waiting for something to come my- dress in black every Goddamn weekend i no longer think i can pretend i hate my job, i hate my life! i don’t think i want to try to force myself out of my bed i’d rather just fall apart binge watch everything on loop everything’s a mess with you j peterson can suck my dick cause everything he says is bullshit the kids at the chess club they called me crazy for moving my pieces in all the wrong spaces guys, it’s called art hey guys, it’s comedy the boys from my film club they kicked me out they said girls aren’t allowed at least i’m real to them, at least i’m real to them i’m not right at all (cinematic, isopropyl) i’ve been waiting for something to come my- (everything you say is hurtful) dress in black for every Goddamn weekend (hate my job, i hate my life) and i no longer think i can pretend (punk rock romantic for all of time) i’m not right at all i’ve been waiting for something to come my- dress in black every Goddamn weekend i no longer think i can pretend

part 1 : feel so silly when i cannot hold a job for 3 months nobody ever wants to watch a movie anymore raise my hands in surrender i wanna get lost, i wanna never be found, i wanna disappear spending college majoring in bullshit and wasting all my time online oh my God it’s deafening to hear your voice all of the time please just shut the door behind you, everything’s a mess when you speak i don’t know what's wrong, if i did i’d probably fix it my- viewing accounts that for my sake i blocked i ran out the car and laid down in the parking lot “i give up” i said, “i give up” i said showed up the party early, made out in your closet “i’m losing my strength,” she said “i’m losing my strength” and i was losing mine, in fact the whole room was spinning and my phone rang out for help, my phone was dying every second spent with your father is a nightmare pretending he does not care crying in the backseat, describe it as amazing my stomach keeps on turning desecrate your local church it’s only the beginning five minutes never ending choking like its glue it tasted kind of bitter clung to me like geum burs (i don’t know what's wrong, if i did i’d probably fix it myself) (forgive yourself) part 2 : God is kind to me cause i am kind to them God is mean to me cause i am mean to them my heart is full of love, my stomach : psilocybin i made my way to heaven, it paved the way to heaven i am in still in love- i cannot deny it but i know it’s way too late for that roman architecture, just skip another lecture i hate myself when i look in the mirror eat a tab a day just so i get through it i’ve been giving up on all my dreams, oh shit i hate when people tell me how to dress i hate when people tell me to “get over it” my friends all suck but i hate myself just as much my friends are great but i still hate myself a lot oh, the ocean washed over your grave i’d be your gay son’s favourite fucking popstar if only i could get myself out of bed i’d be the one that’s always fun at parties if only i could get myself out of my bed i’d be your local fucking emo cliché oh wait i already am i’d be the one you always fucking wanted oh wait i thought i was part 3 : one evening in sorrento the weather was torrential i took a walk fell flat on my face the humming birds were laughing under their trees you were pretty like the leaves you were pretty in ‘20 you were pretty like the sky won't you leave me in ‘20 i was spinning like the earth i could not forget sing about it like its over maybe then i’ll let go maybe you’ve already moved maybe you’re already gone maybe everything was a dream maybe i should move on i’ll be your hometown shitty fucking memory and you’ll mine i bought that disk like you wanted everything is haunted by you survivor’s guilt in my membrane everything is ending, oh god lose my shit when i wake up we didn’t even break up we never even dated broke my phone in a car crash everything’s a flashback i fucking hate it y2k fucking cliché stolen personality, aim and hilary duff voicemails, lip gloss, and kraft dinner forever fucking winter, 117 blisters i’d be your gay son’s favourite fucking popstar i’d be the one that’s always fun at parties i’d be your local fucking emo cliché i’d be the one you always fucking wanted (just put the knife down) (let’s burn the fucking church) (oh what a nightmare) (let’s burn the fucking church) (i’ll just take a bus) (i’ll just watch it burn) (and all the smoke inside) (oh it hurts my eyes) (and all the rain in the world) (oh it couldn’t stop) (everything from turning) (to ash and dust) God loves me because i love them and God hates me because i hate them the river is where i found her, Connie, i’m sorry, i swear

and the inlays were growing dull on my guitar i wanted an out, i wanted an out the death of religion, and everything around it a series of unfortunate events followed by absence of people to talk to i fell off that cliff, i burned down that church got kicked out of film club, was lonely through high school everything ends, i want to go back

part 1 : take those final steps bittersweet cause i know that this chapter’s over don’t trip over empty bottles of wasted youth it’ll all be fine so put your hand in mine, and i’ll wrap my arm around your waist i’ll hold tight as the walls cave in your eyes look great tonight sit around and gather dust fell in love with an anarchist stained glass windows, take the bus home celebrate with honesty we’d skip stones you promised me i broke my phone on purpose spent new year’s feeling worthless part 2 : take your torches out hang them for their sins let the walls cave in please set fire to the past the death of religion and everything around it Stella & her friends, broke my fucking phone when i woke up please set fire to the past i can’t deal with this anymore part 3 : it hurts to see you falling in love with someone else i almost convinced myself that i was over it, but i don’t think i ever was but what do i know about falling in love? i’ve never known

a boy meets his end at the end of the world God struck him down, down a comet drifting through time, the death of prayer explosions in the sky an old record player then there he was his scales; a piercing white big wings, long neck and a fiery breath he helped to forget my name, my name i don’t know my name, i don’t know my name

my body is a temple built by myself for God with ivory stairs and great big bells with tourists taking pictures God sits there and she lights up her bowl the insisting cloud is her domain and she does what she likes, whenever she can but she'd rather stay sober the nights before work cold as soldier, run like a human pour one out and scream it in sync where is your God now where'd he run off to the coward he was as his servants run out, their hands in the air i take my aim and not one i shall spare because God wields no mercy at least not when she threatens to punish me so just hide in your room and comfort your ma because God takes no prisoners if the winter is my enemy then why am i close friends with the snow